Fanfiction: Phenomenon

Chapter Three - Phenomenon from Stephenie Meyer's Twilight

I saw Bella four cars down from me. The sight of her brought back the nagging inner conflict that I felt every time I was near her. We had spoken to one another for the first time yesterday. To my knowledge, she still has no idea that I am a vampire.

She looked slightly confused.

I couldn’t get used to not simply reading her thoughts to see what she is thinking and feeling. In all of my existence, I’ve never known anyone whom I couldn’t just tune into, Bella was an exception. I suppose Bella wasn’t the kind of person you could get used to.

She walked to the back of her rusty old truck, observing the crisscrossing shape of the snow chains on her back tires. Her confused face clicked to understanding and then to another emotion so vulnerable it made me ache. I don’t know if anyone else could have noticed this. For one, no one else seemed to be as hyperaware of her as I was, second, both emotions were there and gone in a second and likely only my heightened non-human eyesight could catch it. And last, most people seemed to be looking out past Bella, towards the slipping, speeding van about to plow into the back of her truck, and Bella was between them.

I heard the unmistakable sound of brakes being jammed down. I looked up and saw the school jock, Tyler, behind the wheel of a blue van that had slipped on the ice.

For me, this moment of indecision seemed to last forever, but to a human, it was only the length of a heartbeat. My two natures collided. I tried to reason with myself; if I saved her now, with all these witnesses , I would risk exposing myself and my family. Then we would be forced to leave the peaceful town of Forks, and I wouldn’t see Bella anymore.

No. No. No.

The voice in my head, the voice of reason, was silenced by the thought of Bella.

Not her. Anyone but her.

In that I had my answer, I had to save her.

I ran toward her, ran so fast that I had no image to the spectators. This was good, I thought, maybe I could save her without anyone getting suspicious of us.

As I ran I thought about how the van has lost control. Yesterday was the first snow of the new year, then it melted when the rain had come again. During the nights frigid temperature drop it had frozen solid. I should have realized this earlier, but it was so rare that I had to think about things so trivial as the weather. Vampires don’t worry about slipping on the ice. And as for my driving? That was laughable! I wouldn’t have had trouble staying on course in Antarctica! As long as the clouds covered up the sun, that’s the only weather I cared about.

I reached her from the side, it was stupid, but there wasn’t time enough to brood on it too much now, I had to concentrate, I couldn’t let her die.

When I got to her, all I could think about was getting her out of the way quickly, so I hooked her around the waist and she and I fell to the ground. I hit first, not that I felt it. The icy ground felt no different than my skin. I landed on my back first, but before gravity pulled me to my side in the rest of the fall, I pushed Bella up in my arms so I was holding her up for less than a tenth of a second.

As we rolled in the last part of the fall, I got a look at her eyes. They took my breath away. I had never seen them so close. The feeling she gave me seemed equivalent to the feeling of my heart beating. Not that I would remember how that felt. But this seemed close.

Her eyes were so scared, but not of me. Was it possible that they went right though her head and into her mind. Maybe I could read her thoughts after all, only not in the way I usually did. The rich brown tint took me in and I knew that I had done the right thing in saving her. Suddenly I felt like I was worth something.

So wrapped up in her was I that at first I didn’t notice that the van was still coming, I was holding her, but I didn’t like the idea of just myself acting like armor. What of she still got hit somewhere? And then after, if she was still unharmed, then how would I explain the Edward and Bella shaped imprint in the side of the van. No, the only option was to move her, and fast. The van folded gracefully around her solid steel truck bed. We were now on the ground by the side of the car parked next to her. It was spinning toward where we sat now.

I had time to notice that she hit her head on the hard, ice-covered asphalt. Despite my efforts have her remain unharmed. That would hurt in the morning.

‘Dammit’ I put my hands out, the van formed itself around the contours of my fingers, I’d have to destroy that evidence later, but it was substantially easier to pop out that dent than that of my whole body. The van stopped inches from her face. The force of the van had forced me to brace myself against the car parked beside us. And my shoulder left its imprint as well.

I think this van must have had bone to pick with Bella. Or maybe I was just an incompetent savior, because after all I’d done, this stupid, deplorable van, was about to come to a halt, it’s back wheels about to meet the ground, where Bella’s legs were directly beneath.

Bella is a magnet for accidents, I thought, she must be.

I had to act fast, faster than I was already. I grabbed her arms with one hand, gripping under the van to hold it up with my other. I easily swung her around to clear her legs of the van. When they hit the car next to us, I let the van drop.

It was all over in a brief second. I held her down, my arm around her waist now. Trying to look like I’d just gotten there, maybe she would be in too much shock to notice or remember all that I had done. That was when the humans’ instincts kicked in, the screaming began and everyone was calling Bella’s name. I needed to know if she was hurt, since I couldn’t read her mind to find out.

‘Bella? Are you all right?’

Her voice came out slightly distorted, due, no doubt, to the fact that I had her pressed against my chest.

‘I’m Fine.’ She tried to sit up, but I was suddenly worried that I had seriously injured her on the way down, I had already hurt her head without meaning to, who’s to say I didn’t screw up farther and sever her spinal cord? I didn’t want her sitting up to quickly, so I didn’t let her.

‘Be careful,’ I cautioned, ‘I think you hit your head pretty hard.’

‘Ow’ she sounded surprised.

Bella was kind of thick, even for a human. I fought to hide my amusement, not wanting to get too attached, like that was even possible anymore.

‘That’s what I thought,’ I said kindly.

‘How in the…’ Utt Oh. ‘How did you get over here so fast?’

No. This was not good, I hadn’t fooled her, did she see me before I ran to her?

‘I was standing right next to you, Bella,’ I had to try and convince her now, the very last thing she needed was to know the truth. That would surely not aid to her well-being.

It surprised me how seemingly unperturbed she was. She wasn’t acting as if she had just about been crushed by a speeding vehicle. She was acting like she had simply been pushed to the ground. Once again, I had the intense desire to know what she was thinking. Why wasn’t she going into hysterics? Was she in shock? Oh, what was she thinking!

She sat up now, I let her, she was obviously not hurt so badly that she couldn’t move. And I was now preoccupied with a much more pressing problem. I had to get her to believe me. For her sake.

I let go of her and retreated to the farthest possible spot that the limited space would allow. After all the shock and commotion was finally coming to an end, her scent washed over me, it was mouth-watering.

I worked to keep my face mask-like. There was a trick that I could do to sort of brainwash humans, to get my way. I tried not to do this too often, it felt like cheating, but this was a special case. I focused all my thoughts on making her believe me. And as a result my eyes came to life, like fire. And it worked.

She lost her train of thought.

Then the crowd found us, and the rabid animal that I am struggled to take over, he smelled the sent of her blood, and wanted to rip open all of her veins and expose the luscious, scarlet, pulsing… -

No! I thought.

Why was she doing this to me? I was happy, content, before Bella came. Why was she so determined to make my life more Hell-like?

It’s not her fault, I rationalized to myself, she can’t help the was she smells.

It took every ounce of courage and sanity I had acquired in my 100 odd years on this planet to pull myself toward the corner between the two cars.

Just don’t kill her, I chanted to myself, just wait for it to pass.

Why did I have to be so thoughtless? Things will be so much more complicated from now on. As if I needed another reason to kill her. I couldn’t let her die, though.

But why? Because I was infatuated with her? No, that couldn’t be it. Was it because I wanted her blood for myself? That must be it. I must have done it instinctively, I must have been worried about seeing her blood spilled all over the pavement. That must be it. That must be the reason, right?

Looking back on it, I couldn’t make out my thought process. Although it happened only seconds ago, I couldn’t recall why I told myself to do it. What I did recall didn’t make since to me. What reason did I give myself to care if this girl died in a car accident? I put my family at risk for her?

Then a flicker of an image flashed behind my eyes. It was of her eyes. Oh! then I realized.

She tried to stand up, and the worrying came back. So I reached over and held her down.

‘Just stay put for now.’

‘But it’s cold.’ Her reaction continued to befuddle me, she was completely fine, not acting as if anything out of the ordinary had happened. I couldn’t help but to be slightly amused.

‘You were over there. You were by your car,’ she blurted out. The affection and amusement dissipated as quickly as they had come. I was right, she was fine, and she was also aware of everything that had happened. Whether or not she could make sense of what she knew, I didn’t know.

‘No, I wasn’t,’ this was bad, of what I knew of Bella, she was stubborn, she would be hard to convince.

‘I saw you.’ Maybe she would forget this, I only needed to play dumb until the ambulance whisked her off.

‘Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way.’ Even if she wouldn’t believe me, would it be possible to get her to keep quiet and not tell the other students?

‘No.’ Her jaw was set, she wasn’t going to give up, that much was obvious. Fine, then we would go with the second option.

‘Please, Bella.’

‘Why?’

‘Trust me.’ Oh, please trust me.

‘Will you promise to explain everything to me later?’ She couldn’t make things easy could she?

‘Fine.’ I had no intention of explaining to her.

‘Fine.’ She looked like she thought as much.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my family. I knew they wouldn’t be happy about this, that they wouldn’t understand.

I was right.

Alice was thinking to me, Edward, is Bella okay? Is she hurt at all? You did the right thing. Alice tried to hide it from me but in the back of her mind she was relieved, and also slightly smug. Alice had seen Bella before any of us. She had had a vision of her. Although she didn’t know how, she did know that Bella was going to be significant in all of out lives, especially mine.

Jasper and Rosalie were furious. What the hell is wrong with you Edward! Jasper mentally shouted at me. But, at that moment, I didn’t care. Bella was saved, and there was nothing I could do about my actions now.

Emmett was more dumfounded than furious, as if he couldn’t believe what I had just done. Like it was some sort of joke, or dream, not that we dream.

I tried to concentrate on their thoughts while the teachers moved the van. They took forever. I could kill Bella and be out of sight before they noticed.

No. That thought definitely wasn’t helpful.

I thought again about what Alice and Jasper had thought. Which one was correct? Alice was scanning the near future for me now, I saw us in the hospital, Bella was going to be okay. And Jasper was planning on shouting at me some more later. She saw the fight we would soon have.

The ambulance came in the next fifteen minutes. I got rid of my hand and shoulder imprints by denting them back in while everyone was working with Bella and Tyler, the driver of the van.

I refused the offer of a stretcher. However, I was worried about the fall Bella had taken, still not entirely convinced that she didn’t have a concussion. I asked them to make sure she was alright. On the other hand, if she did have a concussion, it would be easier to convince her that she hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary.

They strapped a neck brace on her and the look she gave me was a flawless mixture of reproach and confusion. I would be confronted by her as soon as we were alone, I didn’t need Alice to tell me that, but that didn’t stop her from showing me in her thoughts. But would I be able to resist killing her then too? Alice couldn’t tell me that.

The solutions were laid out in front of me. I could kill her secretly and end this mess ,or I could refuse all contact with her from now on. I knew which one caused me the most pain and it wasn’t her death, that was unnerving.

Her father came speeding, too fast, into the parking lot. Not the smartest thing to be doing, seeing how this accident had been caused. I read his thoughts too. His worry and apprehension were so great that I very nearly felt them as well. …she is probably in class, this is probably some other student, there are five hundred other kids here, no reason to think that Bella is hurt.

I felt pity for this middle-aged man, what if I hadn’t saved Bella, then his last thought would have been heartbreaking. He would pull up and see Bella, spilling out of herself onto the paved parking spot.

I was proud that I had prevented this. I smiled, not trying to hide it.

Even thought Bella was still living, that did little to relieve Charlie. Even before he got out of his car, he saw that Bella’s truck was involved. He slowly-- quickly for him, slowly for me--got out of his car and ran to the ambulance.

I cut every other voice out of my head then, only curious about three voices now, Bella’s and the two Charlie spoke with. I was in the front seat of the ambulance, Bella was in the gurney in the back with a neck brace strapped to her.

Charlie climbed clumsily into the back of the van, it was ease too see, looking at Charlie, where Bella had inherited her knack for getting thrown off balance.

‘Bella!’ No! He said and thought.

‘I’m completely fine, Char--Dad,’ she sounded tired, or maybe just resigned, ‘there is nothing wrong with me.’

Thank God. Better make sure. He looked at Bella again, pulsing waves of love, and went to talk to the professionals.

Alice caught my attention again. Edward? Do you want me to tell Carlisle while you’re waiting? I shook my head, and she saw it from through the glass and across the perking lot. Okay, than I’ll go home with Jazz, Emmett and Rosalie to tell Esme. I nodded, barely. I closed my eyes and rested my head in one hand. Of course I was happy about saving Bella, and even feeling of contentedness that I was near her, but I selfishly wanted things to return to the daily monotony that I had come to find comfort in.

As though Alice could read my thoughts, she called out my name again. ‘And Edward,’ I realized that she wasn’t thinking that, but was saying it out loud. I looked up, but didn’t see her. I smelled her outside the ambulance, I sat up and looked out the open window. I didn’t see her. I saw a hand reach up to rest on my shoulder. I finally found her, in the only place I hadn’t looked, down. She was so tiny that the top of her head didn’t even clear the top of the door. I smiled then, contented in the thought that my sister was on my side. ‘You’ll be okay.’

Then she was gone. I leaned back and rubbed my face again. We were starting to accelerate, and I looked up to see Charlie, sirens blaring, ahead of us. Then I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw about fifteen cars following us. I laughed on the inside, Look at the sheep. I thought humorously.

We drove infuriatingly slow, but in a few minutes we eventually drove up to the emergency entrance of the hospital. I hung back as they unloaded Bella. I followed them in, the nurses called out loudly for assistance. I heard Carlisle’s 'voice’ it took me less than a minute to locate him.

I wasn’t worried about Bella anymore, I knew she was in capable hands now. She would be put into a waiting area, have a few X-rays, and be told to wait again for Carlisle. I had more pressing matters, I had to seek my fathers opinion.

He saw me and we went into a conference room where he locked the door.

‘So, tell me what happened. If possible, you look even more somber than usual.’ He smiled at me, I looked up and gave him a slightly pleading look, I didn’t want him to joke.

I knew that Carlisle, my father, would forgive me. And even though I didn’t want to tell him of how foolish I had been I knew that he wouldn’t think badly of me, that her would give me advice and help me with anything I wanted to do.

His smile faded and his eyebrows went down slightly as he took in my mood. He waited patiently for me to begin. I took in a breath, not taking my eyes off his, and began.

He sat with his hand folded. After I was finished describing the mornings events, there was silence.

I looked away from him and examined the room in which we had been sitting for the past thirty minutes. He and I were sitting in two of the middle chairs around the long polished mahogany veneer table. Carlisle’s sympathy did nothing to elevate the guilt I felt about how I had thoughtlessly endangered my family.

He took in a breath, and I cautiously looked up.

‘I don’t think you did anything wrong, not yet. What I think matters, is what you’re going to do next. You have a decision to make, Edward. From what you’ve told me, I can tell you care about the Swan girl.’

‘I don’t know what I feel? All I can say for sure is that I am fascinated by her. The way she acts and reacts, it’s not anything I have ever encountered before. I wouldn’t ever call what I feel love, though, how could I ever love anything that put me through so much pain? The scent of her, ‘ I shook my head, ‘it complicates everything, everything that we have been existing for.’

I shot up my head then. Although Carlisle tried very hard to suppress the words that he was thinking. The feel of the thought still came through. To put back into words what I got from him roughly translated to ‘sounds like you are describing love’

‘I am not!’ I felt bad that I had raised my voice to him , so I lowered my head into a submissive pose. Like Alice before him, he put his hand into my soldier. ‘Do what you feel is right. Do what you know you can live with.’ he very gently emphasized there two human qualities. I looked up, he knew very well my position on all things human. He gazed at me, love in his eyes. I thanked him. Then his name was called out over the PA, it was time to go and see Bella.

I heard a pandemonium of thoughts and voices as I passed the students who had followed us here. Either out of genuine concern, or the ready-made excuse out of class, or just to jump on the band wagon, about fifty students waited. Apparently more than fifteen cars had been following.

God, poor Bella. I hope she didn’t get too scathed up, it would be a shame to ruin that perfect body… thought Eric Yorkie, a chess club type who had a superficial crush on her.

Too bad Cullen had to be the one to rescue her, I bet she would have thought me heroic if I had been the one too… This thought I pinpointed as coming from Mike Newton, a pretty boy, with not too much more to him than that.

This will only make her more popular, like she needs the fame. She doesn’t even like the spotlight… Lauren thought maliciously.

I hope she isn’t hurt, maybe I could help her out around school somehow… A kind, shy girl, named Angela thought.

All of the thoughts raced though my head in less than a second, then I walked away and tuned them out again. No one noticed me walking by them, they were all to used to me to ogle anymore. This suited me just fine, I preferred it.

As I approached her door a slight tingle disturbed my lower abdomen, like an ant had gotten itself caught in my intestines, and it gave me a shock. I felt nervous! A human emotion! I hadn’t felt nervous in ninety years, I haven’t needed to. This girl was resurrecting the human in me, and I was letting her. How could Carlisle know how she was slowly transforming me?

I knew she couldn’t have forgotten, I didn’t think so little of her as to think that. But what…how could I explain to her, or to make her believe me if I told her the truth. If I told her I could picture the look she would give me, the look in her eyes. She would think I was insane. Even that thought gave me another twinge---how irrational feelings are---if she avoided me, how could I get to the bottom of her mystery? If she avoided me, she would be safe. So…maybe that was good, maybe that was right. Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to be around Bella anymore. Maybe I’d have to deal with that.

All of these melancholy thoughts occupied my mind until I stepped through the doorway, into Bella’s room.

It was a basic and ordinary hospital room. Too small, and too brightly lit. Fluorescents flooded the floor tiles. But all lights faded when I looked at Bella. Bella lay on the far side of the room, her eyes were closed and she wasn’t wearing the neck brace anymore. The fact that her eyes were closed surprised me. If I were to guess, I would say that she would be too shaken up to rest. But, as per usual, Bella did nothing if not take me by surprise.

I walked dejectedly to the foot of her bed, already depressed by the place my subconscious thoughts had taken me. Thinking of Bella, and the way her actions went against normal human behavior, and the mystery that presented. It was saddening that it was right to leave her.

Right. Right.

‘Is she sleeping?’ I was still slightly shocked at that fact, slightly amused that it was even possible for her. I was aware that it would come out in my voice.

Then her eye lids shot open. She hadn’t been sleeping, and I was right. I knew it! I was correct about her, in one respect at least.

Some of the confusion and ridicule remained in her eyes. She reminded me of a kicked puppy, reproachful and distrusting. All of these emotions played across her face, leaving physical evidence of their presence: red face, sparkling eyes, and a shaky disposition. But nothing other that. There was no way to tell that there was anything more to them, no thoughts behind them.

Bella glared at me, but it didn’t last long.

It was amazingly easy to ignore Tyler, lying no more than four feet from me, covered in fresh blood. I’d never understood how Carlisle was able to do that--ignore the blood of his patients in order to treat them. wouldn’t the constant temptation be so distracting, so dangerous? But, now I could see how, if you were focusing on something else hard enough, the temptation would be nothing at all. Even fresh and exposed, Tyler’s blood had nothing on Bella’s.

For the fourth time, I smelled Bella’s blood, it was so tempting. Every time I was around her, her scent hit me like a wrecking ball. The monster in my mind tried to convince me to take her.

There is only one other person in the room, it reasoned. And there is already a chance that she knows what you are. You know what the Volturi would do to you if they knew. And then you could move on. Think of the peace.

NO! I thought. Look at her, I can’t kill her.

Then an unwelcome mental image intruded. Bella was cold and still. Her arms hanging limply over the edge of the bed, where they were when she had run out of strength to move them. And I was terrified. I would never hurt her. No matter what I had to sacrifice.

‘Hey, Edward?’ Tyler drew my attention, ‘I’m really sorry--’ I didn’t really want to hear it and there was no need for him to feel guilty.

‘No blood, no foul,’ I interjected. I smiled, thinking of the lack of affect his blood had on me. Maybe I was getting better. I moved to sit on the side of his bed, facing Bella. I but my back to him to stop him from making any future apologies before he could start them.

‘So, what’s the verdict?’ I asked condescendingly, but also slightly concerned.

‘There’s nothing wrong with me at all, but they won’t let me go.’ Bella complained, completely normal, completely unnatural. ‘How come you aren’t strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?’

I chuckled, the idea was fairly ludicrous.

‘It’s all about who you know, but don’t worry, I came to spring you.’

Just then, Carlisle stepped in. he looked tired, but then again, he had the right to be. He looked at me, then at Bella. I knew what he would be thinking, even before I heard it.

So this is the girl.

The way he ‘said’ this was more happy--like he was meeting who he knew would be a future friend--than sarcastic. It was beginning to annoy me, why did everyone assume that they knew what I would do, of wouldn’t do.

He looked at me apologetically, then at Bella, and smiled.

‘So Ms. Swan, how are you feeling?’ he was still comforting.

‘I’m fine,’ Bella sighed, like she was tired of repeating that one phrase.

Carlisle walked over to her, reviewing her X-rays on the board above her head.

‘Your X-rays look good, does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard.’ He knew I wouldn’t have cause to lie, so he must assume Bella was in pain and was not expressing it.

‘It’s fine,’ she sighed, I suppressed a chuckle, she glanced at me, but I was sure she didn’t hear me laugh. She was probably upset I’d informed Carlisle.

He went to her and checked the spot where I told him she’d hit it. Both he and I noticed when she winced.

‘Tender?’ of course this didn’t surprise him, he saw that I was right.

‘Not really,’ she replied, obviously impatient to get out of here. I had less success hiding the laugh this time, she heard it and her eyes narrowed angrily.

‘Well, your father is in the waiting room-you can go home with him now, but come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all.’ Carlisle instructed.

‘Can’t I go back to school?’ Bella pleaded. I would have thought she’d want to go home, away from me, to get her thoughts in order, or just to have a free day.

‘Maybe you should take it easy today,’ Carlisle said.

‘Does he get to go to school?’ Bella demanded, referring to me.

I piped in now, having been silent the whole exchange. I tried to be cheerful, to counter the way I really felt.

‘Someone has to spread the good news that we survived.’

‘Actually,’ amended Carlisle, ‘most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.’ Carlisle only said this for Bella’s benefit.

‘Oh no!’ she groaned, turning slightly red.

‘Do you want to stay?’ Carlisle offered, skeptical.

‘No, No!’

Then she jumped off the lumpy, railed bed, as if to prove her point…and she stumbled. My gut reaction when I saw this was to lunge forward and catch her in my arms. But I knew I couldn’t, I had to start separating myself from her. I fought the need to get more attached now.

Carlisle caught her, looking concerned. Maybe I frighten her, he thought, worried.

‘I’m fine,’ Bella insisted, righting herself.

‘Take some Tylenol for the pain.’ suggested Carlisle.

‘It doesn’t hurt that bad.’

‘It sounds like you were extremely lucky,’ he was trying to sound nonchalant

‘Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me,’ Bella corrected. Damnit.

‘Oh, well, yes,’ Carlisle agreed off-hand, turning immediately to look at his clipboard and at Tyler.

I looked at Bella and there was a gleam in her eyes, she knew much more than I had intended, in that flash of intuition, and I knew that now it was going to be even harder to convince her that nothing had happened.

Carlisle talked to Tyler now, but I didn’t care to listen, Bella was walking closed to me.

‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’ I hadn’t been so close to her since the accident. I smelled her, and stepped back, trying to get some space between us before instinct took over and I murdered her.

‘Your father is waiting for you,’ I pressed.

She flashed a glare at the other occupants of the room, implying. Then she said, ‘I’d like to speak with you alone if you don’t mind.’

My temper got away with me, but I wasn’t ashamed. After all, a temper tantrum was infinitely better than what I could do to her. I took her to a deserted corridor and confronted her.

It was time to make that decision that Carlisle was taking about.

‘What do you want?’ I didn’t have to pretend that I was angry, that was taken care of for me. I did have to pretend that I didn’t care about Bella, so the true intensity of what I did feel for her didn’t come out in my eyes.

She was scared, at least, finally. Her words came out muddled ‘You owe me an explanation.’

‘I saved your life--I don’t owe you anything.’

She flinched, I suddenly felt guilty again, I quickly stashed that emotion with the others, before it got the chance to give me away.

‘You promised,’ I had hurt her, and I was ashamed of it.

I think I had felt a more diverse variety of emotions in the last hour than I had in the past eighty years. I put them all away, I would be free to feel the pain of them when Bella wasn’t present.

‘Bella, you hit your head, you don’t know what your talking about.’ I corrected, still sharp. That ticked her off.

‘There’s nothing wrong with my head.’ The anger in her voice was only an echo of the pain I’d caused her. I decided to identify exactly what she needed to know, that way I wouldn’t give her too much information, or get to snippy with her unnecessarily.

‘What do you want from me, Bella?’

‘I want to know the truth, I want to know why I’m lying for you.’

Again, I had to know exactly what she knew. I wanted to know for two reasons, because I wanted to know exactly what to say to counter her ideas, and the other was because I was dying to know how her mind worked. The first reason sounded saner, so I used it as my motivation.

‘What do you think happened?’

She spoke very quickly now. ‘All I know is that you weren’t anywhere near me--Tyler didn’t see you either, so don’t tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both-and it didn’t, your hands left dints in the side of it--and you left a dent in the other car, and your not hurt at all-and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…’ she trailed, she was shaking and her eyes were watering. I had to answer her, so I decided to comment on the last part of her rant, hopping she’d forget everything before that. It was a vain hope.

‘You think I lifted a van off you?’ I questioned.

Then her intuition flicked on again. Somehow, my lie tipped her off, and it surprised me. I was a great liar! How could she see though it so easily? She didn’t answer me, just nodded, and waited.

‘No one will believe that, you know,’ I was getting slightly anxious now. Another human emotion! This girl must be a plague.

‘I’m not going to tell anyone.’ She spoke slowly. If she wasn’t going to tell anyone, than my half-baked theories were all wrong. I was wrong about her again. I started to wonder about her thought process again.

‘Then why does it matter?’

‘It matters to me--I don’t like lying, so there’d better be a good reason why I’m doing it.’ So she truly only wanted to know for herself. I wondered why that was. I had to shut away there new feelings again. I had to end the conversation, before I lost control and killed her, or lost control and started to like her more.

‘Can’t you just thank me and get it over with?’ I was anxious to walk away, knowing it was right to do it.

‘Thank you,’ her tone was impatient.

‘You’re not going to let it go, are you?’ Somehow, this didn’t surprise me, that reconciled me a bit, for once, she didn’t take me by surprise.

‘No,’ she answered simply.

I had to go, I pushed to end the conversation, ‘in that case--I hope you enjoy disappointment.’

A few seconds of staring passed and than she spoke softly, and I was sure that I’d hurt her then.

‘Why did you even bother?’ she was cold, but there was a sharp edge of pain in her words as well. Sharp to me, at least.

She had found my Achilles heel--my insecurity--hit it with deadly accuracy. wasn’t this the question that I’d been trying to answer for myself? How could she have so much power over me? So easily?

‘I don’t know.’ I really didn’t. I didn’t know, and for a man who reads minds, this knowledge, that I had a lack of knowledge, irritated me. I had to leave, to force my legs to turn and separate myself from her, I did so, and the only thing that made me was Bella. Where my will failed, the knowledge that I might hurt Bella if I stayed where I was, succeeded. I had to leave her, for her.

She stayed where she was, but if I could be proud of one thing, say for certain that I had done one thing, it was that I’d bothered, that I’d saved her. That she was standing on her feet, that her eyes were open to be able to glare after me, and that her body was still capable of warming her face in anger. It was very little, but at that time, it seemed like it meant the whole world.

take it back?